I am one who is prone to getting into a funk. I don't even know if it should be called "funk" as the words "great depression" describe my mood so much better. It truly confuses me why i get this way. Yes, we have some issues here on the home-front, but they are none that can't be dealt with or that are life threatening. When i compare my issues with other issues that friends have or are dealing with, my issues start to look like little molehills instead of issues.
With this 'funk', comes the need (okay, the WANT) to just stay hidden and alone. If i could arrange it, an entire week under the bed covers would be divine. Of course, i can't arrange that, so i shuffle through the day, counting on my Diet Coke to kick me in gear. Isolating yourself isn't the smartest thing, you know, when you feel this way. Being alone just adds more fuel to the fire, it seems. Besides, to be honest, having others around would probably help...of course, it could make one nut up, also, lol.
Then comes guilt and shame. Guilt for being selfish for not living each moment to the fullest. Many folks would love to have the chance to live each day to the fullest. Lord knows my Mama would. Shame for being in this funk....i have so much to feel grateful for that i am ashamed for being in this kind of mood.
Perhaps it's the weather; winter isn't my favorite time of year. Maybe it's that i am missing my Mama even more than usual. Maybe it's due to the Power of Change course that i am taking.....truly, this course it the hardest course i have E.V.E.R. enrolled in. Maybe it is the combination of all three of these things. Whatever the reason, i am tired of feeling my heart ache.
So, at the suggestion of my husband, i am going to start a Grateful Journal again. I will write down 5 things every morning that i am grateful for. While i think that this sounds simplistic and won't work to pull me out of this, at this point, i am willing to try anything.
I'm also going to start walking with Pickles after i drop Emma off at school. She needs some good puppy exercise, and a walk sure couldn't hurt me. Perhaps being in the sun with fresh air will be something that helps....just as the Grateful Journal, it sure couldn't hurt.
Off to work on my new Grateful Journal....
Saturday, February 25, 2012
♡ Scribbled by ~Isabel at 11:19 AM