I love this photo of these rocks. They are pretty rocks, with hearts on them. They have nothing what-so-ever to do with this post, but i love this pic anyway.
Growing up, i wasn't a fan of school. I was afraid of my own shadow, so that explains a lot of it. I wanted to be near my Mama. She and i had lived in Spain with my Abeula while my Dad was stationed in places we couldn't go, so it was pretty much the two of us, all of the time. Since she couldn't come to school with me, well, let us just say that i was not a very easy student to deal with. I wasn't a mean kid, just very quiet and kept to myself.
That's why i was happy when i saw that little Emma was comfortable around others. In fact, she loves being around others! This was a good thing, because if you're not scared of your shadow or your own voice, school can be a fun place of friends and of learning.
Or so i thought.
We have some issues.
Oh do we have some issues....
...but the good part of these issues seem to be that Emma's teachers are talking fondly of her, telling us that she is a sweet, smart, funny little girl who
they hope they won't have to strangle before the year is out is trying her best to do better. Emma apologizes when she knows she's done wrong, which is a good thing. But i apologized, too, when i did something wrong. But in saying that, when i was in school, i don't remember:
~dinging little boys on the head with my book bag because they tried to hold my hand.
~throwing things in class, mostly because i didn't want any attention drawn to me
~hitting a teacher's glasses off her head and throwing them into the toilet
~doinking another child over the head with a dinosaur because she felt they weren't helping clean up
~laughing like a hyena at times when quiet/listening is called for
~burping and farting with another little boy to see who can burp/fart louder
You would think that i was raising Emma in a barn with the barn animals, yes?
Emma has issues listening and following directions. Keeping her hands to herself also seems to be an issue. It breaks my heart, though, when she tells me that she hates herself because she's 'bad' or that she doesn't like herself. I also hated hearing that she wanted to be called another child's name because she thought that this little girl was "good". This has lead to many conversations between she and i about the fact that "she" is not bad, her actions are, hating ourselves is never the answer and God made us as we are and He only made ONE of each of us. Thankfully, the past few weeks, we've had a bit of a break thru and she's had 3 smiley face days with notes of how well she's doing. I love seeing her so excited about "counting to ten" before she does something she is thinking about doing and getting a star stamp on her hand for a 'good job'.
I want Emma to love school and learning. I want to help her understand how amazing it is to learn something, to read good books and to do your best. I've started studying at the table for a class i am taking where she can see me and she'll come 'study', too. But most of all, i want to nip in the bud the talk/thought that she is 'bad', she 'hates' herself or wants to be someone else. That kind of stuff is truly destructive to one's soul and she's much too young for that...
I have some research to do, i think. If you are inclined to, please keep Emma in your prayers to become a strong, healthy little girl who loves herself just as God made her to be...
Monday, February 6, 2012
♡ Scribbled by ~Isabel at 3:07 PM